That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
