**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
