We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize