HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
