he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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