At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Will exercising make me less horny?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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