Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize