I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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