So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
