He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
two words...techno handjob
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
