I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize