it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize