I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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