just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
