So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize