its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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