ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
