I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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