I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
