I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
its liver damage thursday
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
