i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
