Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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