Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
