Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
