Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
