Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
