Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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