I'm passing your future prison.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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