garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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