Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
