Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
