suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
