dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im six kinds of drunk right now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
