...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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