Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
