I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
