is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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