I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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