So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
