you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
