is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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