Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
