what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the liver wants what the liver wants
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
