he was CRYING into my vagina
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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