I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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