Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
