I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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