i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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