This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
