What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
