I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
