they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
