You made me cry and you don't even care
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
