Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He? As in you personified your dick?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
