Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
