How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am one with the molecules
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
