either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
