Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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