You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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