I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
