chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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