grandma shit on top of the toilet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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