Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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