She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
