So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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