Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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