I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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