I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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