I need help removing her.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
