My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
