I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
