Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
