Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my poor anus
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
