Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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