i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
