Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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