Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
