I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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