I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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