just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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