yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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