chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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