new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
