So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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